Affirmations - External vs Internal

If I type “How to Manifest…” into Google, the prompts that appear are “How to manifest…something, someone, your ex back, job, money, the life you want”. Although it's appealing to attempt to control life this way, I invite you to change your life experience another way.

I've noticed a wave of people teaching others to repeat to oneself that they already have that job, money, car, house, or relationship in order to manifest it into being true.

Is this is just another way of attempting to control the world of form so our egos can feel safe, loved, and enough? And what happens if those don’t come true? Did we not want it enough? Did we not do it “right”? Is it just more evidence to our egos that we aren’t “enough”?

The solution: dive deeply into the self to identify and understand the internal need under the external thing. Under all external desires is a desire to be some version of worthy, enough, safe, loved, and connected.

For example, perhaps the affirmation or meditation is to manifest a relationship into existence. If we put all of our intentions into making a specific relationship work out, despite all the ways it is not flowing naturally, how much of our authentic selves do we ignore, betray, or deny to make that happen?

How much contortion, manipulation, control, and internal or external gaslighting will happen when forcing something instead of surrendering to the natural, honest flow of external circumstances? I've been there and done that, and it involves a lot of suffering.

Instead of meditating on or affirming a specific thing, choose the deeper affirmation. Here are some examples:

Specific job > internal sense of abundance, security, worthiness, enough-ness
Specific relationship > internal sense of lovability, security, worthiness, enough-ness
Money or material thing> internal sense of gratitude, security, abundance, worthiness, enough-ness

Affirming the deeper internal sense of wholeness is always true. You aren’t lying to yourself, though it might feel that way when the ego appears. Your true, beautiful, love-filled essence is always and has always been enough, worthy, safe, and full of light and love (read that as many times as needed).

And I believe the more we affirm those internal truths, the more our lives reflect that back at us. The more I practice finding that acceptance and love within, the more I see it in my external world. In my experience, the opposite is also true. The more I judge myself, the more I see that reflected in the world around me. The stronger our egos and our attachment to our stories and victimhood or superiority, the more that is reflected in our lives, circumstances and relationships.

One of my favorite quotes is: that which is for you will not pass you. I find this very comforting. It’s basically a non-religious way of saying, have faith, everything happens exactly as it should. Trust divine timing.

What if we surrender? What if we just trust the natural flow of life and look within?

In plant medicine ceremonies, one of the most profound ways to get the most out of an experience is to surrender. It’s the act of setting the ego aside, going deeper beyond the fears and need for control. It’s the beauty of letting go until all that is left is love, gratitude, and oneness with the flow of the universe… it’s realizing that there is no separation between our deepest self and all things.

I often say that plant medicine ceremonies can be a microcosm of or crash course of life. When my ego fights the bliss of surrender in ceremony, I am faced with the parts of myself that keep me trapped in suffering in my daily life.

So, how can we use this in daily life? If we surrender to life’s experiences, living as fully in the present moment as possible, we can practice letting go of our old stories. We can trust that everything that is happening is supporting us for the evolution of our consciousness.

We don’t have to spend our energy trying to control, manipulate or force people and circumstances into being and doing what we want them to be so we can feel whole. We can focus our attention on our own wholeness.  We can experience life as it flows through our awareness.

Here is an image that may resonate. Have you seen those timelapse videos of one person standing on a busy street and they seem to be standing still while the world happens all around them over time? That is our consciousness. It is and always will be. We can get swept up by our stories and stuck in suffering, holding onto the past or trying to control the future, or we can live in the moment and witness life as it unfolds… learning to love ourselves more completely through every experience.

And as we learn to love ourselves more completely, and affirm our own worthiness within, we reflect that back out into the world. We begin to see the universe and all the people and events as happening for us instead of to us.

And when we see life as affirming the love that is within and all around, it becomes easier to surrender, live in the present moment, and be the love and change we want to see in the world. Our egos stop fighting reality as much. We get curious about circumstances rather than resisting them.

Here is the invitation: every time you want something to happen externally, notice what the underlying desire is. Love, connection, worthiness, enough-ness, security. Meditate on that affirmation. As you meditate, notice where you may feel resistance in the body. Experience the emotions that come up. They want to be fully felt, process, alchemized.

Notice the thoughts that resist the affirmations. Allow the feelings to flow, like you are the person standing still in the timelapse, noticing the feelings, noticing the thoughts. When you’ve felt the things fully, you can come back to the true, loving affirmation of wholeness.

You can do this affirmation in your daily life, too. Life can be a mindfulness meditation… experiencing the senses, allowing them to flow through you, coming back to your stillness, wholeness, inner love and connectedness.